The Art of Letting Go

Have you ever felt annoyed when someone told you to just “let it go?” It can be frustrating and feel dismissive when people say that to you and then expect you to figure it out without any guidance. You can easily feel stuck in certain situations and emotions, feeling unable to move forward. I personally have dealt with some situations lately in which I felt stuck in varying degrees of guilt, shame, fear, anxiety, and sadness. I want to share some helpful tips for releasing and letting go of whatever is out of your control so that you have more energy to focus on what you can control.

Prayer and Meditation

One of the main ways I like to cope with feeling stuck and overwhelmed is through prayer and meditation. I usually start with telling God everything that is going on and verbalizing it in a prayer, and then move into silence to reflect and listen. Many times, I will pick a scripture on which to meditate. One scripture that can be helpful when you need to release negative emotions or are feeling weighed down is 1 Peter 5:7

             “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” (New Living Translation)

Another great tool for meditation is to use mantras or affirmations. You can create your own or use some from another source. I like to use “I” statements. Here is a list of mantras I have created on the topic of letting go:

“I release that which does not serve me”

“I will focus on what I can control”

“I have permission to take a break”

“I can let go of what has happened in the past”

“I will choose to keep moving forward”

Gentle Movement

Another great tool for helping to let go is to get some gentle movement. This does not have to be a five-mile run or sweaty session in the gym. If you want to do that, go for it! However, gentler movement routines are wonderful for releasing pent up energy without making you totally exhausted. You can take a walk outside, turn on your favorite playlist and dance around the living room, or do some yoga. Yoga in particular helps to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, also called your “rest and digest” function. This is helpful when you are feeling that “fight or flight” nervous system response. Restorative yoga is particularly helpful for turning on the parasympathetic nervous system. However, if you feel very antsy or have a lot of energy pent up, try a more active practice before moving in to restorative postures.

Journaling

I know, I know, you may be thinking that you haven’t kept a journal since 7th grade. But trust me on this one, journaling is a powerful tool for helping to let go and release. Sometimes we can get stuck in a negative thought pattern, and it can be extremely overwhelming to have those thoughts swirling constantly in our brains. This is where journaling comes in –getting it out on paper can be very cathartic. Journaling can also help with reframing those thoughts so that you can view them through a self-compassionate lens. For example, here is a negative thought and example of how you can reframe:

             Negative thought: “I can’t believe I slept through my alarm and was late to work! I am so lazy and a bad employee!”

             Self-compassionate reframing: “It’s upsetting that I slept through my alarm and was late to work, but it happens to everyone sometimes. It does not mean I am a lazy or irresponsible employee.”

Another journaling activity you can try is to write down whatever it is you feel that you need to release, and then physically shred up the paper and throw it away. This tangible action may make the action of letting go feel more real and help you with moving forward. Give it a try sometime!

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Unplug and Take a Break

Sometimes being constantly “on” can take a huge toll on our mental and emotional health. We are often glued to our phones, scrolling through social media or checking emails and texts. It can become exhausting to feel that we need to be available to answer calls, emails, and texts all the time. Social media scrolling can also negatively impact our thoughts by making us feel inadequate, upset, or anxious. It can be very beneficial to step away from the constant stimulation of our phones and computers and “unplug”, so to speak.

It can be hard to let go and release that which does not serve us when we are constantly glued to our phones and checking email or Facebook. It mentally drains us. And many times, we are not empowered to let goof the negativity when negativity is constantly staring back at us through a screen. If you start to feel overwhelmed by social media, emails, or messages, take a break. Maybe go outside and get some fresh air, pick up a book to read, listen to your favorite music, or watch a movie. Taking time for self-care is not selfish, and it can greatly improve your mental and emotional health.

Focus on What You Can Control

Easier said than done, I know. But I have learned that it really is helpful to focus on things that I actually have control over, versus let myself become consumed by what I cannot fix. A simple way to do this is to focus on basic needs and move on from there. You can make sure you feed yourself, get adequate sleep, stay hydrated, and move your body in a way that feels good. Then you can focus on your other tasks that you can accomplish in your day, such as going to work, parenting kids (if you have any), cleaning the house, laundry, etc. And don’t forget to make time for some fun, too!

Overall, remember that letting go is not something that comes easily to many people. It is normal to feel a wide range of emotions whenever you face a difficult or challenging situation. For those of us who have experienced depression or anxiety (or both) can often have an especially difficult time letting go. Give yourself grace. Take some deep breaths, pray, meditate, move your body, maybe journal or find another self-care activity to help take your focus off the unknown and ground yourself to the present moment.

If you try any of these tips, let me know how it works out for you! I hope that this blog post has been helpful to you.

With Light and Love,

Julia